There are so many words being flung around all over the place that I’ve been finding it hard to form some of my own. We are saturated with advice, opinions, and promises all day long. It sometimes makes it hard to think for oneself.
Nature used to be a healing place for me. A hideaway. An escape. I’d step outside and immediately enter into clear headedness, a whole other world where peace came instantly. It has not been like that as much lately. This saddens me. I feel like I’ve lost a friend, but it was never intentional, and it was never because either of us stopped caring. I’ve been trying to notice other things in my life that give me that same feeling that nature used to give me. Thinking that maybe it’s just a different time in my life where different things are calling to me, giving me that healing and groundedness. I’ve discovered that sitting at a table having a meal with people gives me that feeling. Talking and laughing with humans does it for me. So when it happens, I really try to sink into that moment and let all the good feelings wash over me. And they stick with me for days. I feel fulfilled and grounded. Nature is still always there for me; birds and trees are still companions I need. But the entryway to peace and escape and feeling alive looks a little different for me.
The complexities we are being presented with right now are immense. I’m wrestling with all of them, as I’m sure you are. I have strong emotions about everything happening in our society. But it’s been hard to put them into an expression that makes sense. Pen and paper has not come as easily (except for with songwriting; more on that below), and journaling hasn’t brought as much relief for me as it has in the past. Things like AI, the dominance of social media platforms and the malicious companies that own them, geopolitical issues, the fire hydrant of propaganda from the mouths of government officials – these are not easily solvable issues. They are ongoing disturbances we are faced with on a daily basis. There is no quick fix or concise answer. The way I process these things will be unfolding for years. I’m sure it will be coming out in my songs, my book, and poetry for a long time.
Last night, I found myself particularly depressed about AI and its effects on music, songwriting, and books. I read about NaNoWriMo’s policy on genAI, and it set me off. To be fair, this was after I had just listened to a podcast episode about AI in music, so I guess the table was already set for rage. The fear I have is that as AI keeps getting better and better (and it has been rapidly improving), people will start preferring songs and books written by genAI rather than humans. There is already a devaluation of music due to the streaming platforms and their dirt cheap price tag on songs. So the reality of AI being able to create songs – and improving drastically as it does so – leaves me with the fear that artists will be replaced. More than that, that human expression itself will be replaced and devalued, even more than it already is. Will there be any space for what we as artists do to matter?
My hope is that we will always prefer music and words written by and made by humans with actual emotions that we can connect with and relate to, with all of their experience and the things they wrestle with, the things they’re trying to make sense of, the deep things, the humorous things. I hope that we will always be able to tell the difference between the cold, heartless patterns that AI produces and the hard earned, nuanced, digging-in-the-dirt words and melodies that humans create, so often at great cost. (Yeah, I know that not everything humans create is that deep or nuanced. “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred comes to mind.)
I hope that AI can help us eradicate diseases.
But when it comes to art, I hope AI loses big time.
Here are a few things I’ve been up to this year:
Songwriting course with Brian Eno. Yes, that Brian Eno. Yes, I’m still fangirling! I knew him as someone who has had an integral role in the creative direction of so many top-notch music projects. He always seemed like he brought the best, most creative, out of the box ideas out of musicians. The course did not disappoint. It was 4 weeks long, and he gave one lecture and one Q&A section a week, plus we as students met once a week to share our songs in small groups for feedback. I wrote a new song each week, which I didn’t think I could ever do. But I do love a deadline! One or two of the songs I wrote are showing some promise, and they are currently in the “next album” pile. Here’s a quote from one of his lectures: “There has never been more demand on human attention than there is now. Consumer capitalism wants you to keep consuming things, paying attention to the things it is selling. These machines keep the consumer wheel running. Your attention is the most valuable thing about you. They’re not interested in your creativity. They want you to be an obedient shopper. To piss them off, don’t be an obedient shopper. For yourself, don’t’ be an obedient shopper.”
Songwriting course with Jenn Wasner. One of my favorite things about this course was her humility and realness. She just never pretended to have it all together or have all the answers. I like to learn from people like that. I wrote 3 songs during this month-long course. One that I really had fun writing was written from the perspective of the main character in “I Hope This Finds You Well”, a book I read earlier this year. If you’ve ever worked in an office environment, you will feel seen when you read this book. It was both funny and heartwarming, and I thoroughly enjoyed putting the phrase “hack into their email” in a song.
Songwriting course with Greta Morgan. This was a 3-week course that felt like an absolute feast. She taught us so many tips and tricks that I am still working through. I wrote one new song about a topic I’ve never really written about before, and finished a new draft of another song I’ve been wrestling with for a while.
Continuing with edits on my novel. I hope you’re not tired of hearing about this, but I’m still working through edits for the latest draft of my taking-forever-to-finish novel. It’s a mammoth project that is with me every single day. I’ll write more about the process soon.
I formed a cover band. My husband and I love doing cover songs and we’ve been playing music together for years, so we decided to have a fun little side adventure and form a band. It’s called Everything’s Fine!. We played a little outdoor show in a cute, nearby town in the fall, in someone’s backyard who lives on the lake. And it was SO MUCH FUN. We were one of 3 bands, and everyone cheered each other on. Definitely a highlight evening. Nothing fills me up as much as playing live music. It’s one of the few things that gives me a tangible feeling of “I was born for this!” So, if you want to throw a house party and you need an acoustic pop/rock/folk band, let me know!
Digital detox. No social media, no news. Unsubscribing from emails that stress me out or just want my money. I started the detox from social media in January, with the intention of it just lasting throughout the songwriting course with Brian Eno, but I realized when it was over that I didn’t really want to go back to socials. I’ve not really missed it. Some say it’s death to your “career” when it comes to marketing, but I’ll worry about that when I have something that actually needs marketing. Or an actual career. Haha!
Some of my favorite songs of this year:
“Keep Me in the Dark” by Flock of Dimes, “Sexo, Violencia, y Llantas” by Rosalía, “Lift You Up” by Léon, and “Feel Around You” by LeYouth and LeyeT
Here’s to having survived 2025!